Unfortunately, we want something for someone else in vain. In vain we want to help a person who does not want to be helped. I have come to the conclusion that it is a waste of time and energy to convince someone of a certain thing or to try to bring them “on the right path”.
If you really want to get a person to act or do something, you will have to make that person want it through influence, not control.
Let’s take tobacco as an example: a smoker is aware that smoking is harmful to his body and is also expensive. In vain you tell him that it is unhealthy, in vain you show him what can happen and in vain you forbid him to do it again because he will find a way to smoke.
What can you do instead? You could try to “plant a seed” in his thoughts and influence him to want something different: maybe better physical condition, maybe victory in a marathon, or who knows. That desire must be stronger than the desire to smoke and slowly you may be able to convince him to stop smoking.
Of course, desire is not a skill, but it is necessary to initiate the whole process that will follow.
1. Adaptability
For more than 300,000 years since the discovery of “homo sapiens”, humans have adapted to all possible conditions depending on: weather, natural resources, viruses, calamities, wars, and more.
We are the result of thousands of years of evolution and have extraordinary capabilities to do great things. Adaptability is the skill needed at all times, regardless of peace, war, prosperity, economic crisis, etc.
The faster you adapt to all the big changes that are happening, the better you will manage and progress.
To be successful in the long term you have to determine what are the things that will work in the next 30-50 years from now because what you do now, what you learn now, depends a lot on the trends and predictions about the future.
We see how technology evolves faster and faster. 20 years ago it seemed “sci-fi” to have Bluetooth headphones, tablets, touchscreen phones, autonomous electric cars, and more. Artificial intelligence and other emerging technologies, simplify work, and automate tasks, and at the same time industries are changing and human labor will no longer be needed in many fields.
2. Ability to solve problems
People have always faced problems. As long as you know how to solve people’s problems, you will have (that word) a living to put on the table. And now you know very well that in fact your job or the work you do for your boss, your client, or for a specific person is nothing more than an exchange of resources: you use your skills and knowledge, time and energy to solve a problem, and in exchange for them you are remunerated.
If you want to be really successful, you have to find a way to solve the problem you know very well, to be able to solve it as often as possible, to help as many people as possible, using as little of your limited resources as possible. That means creating systems to help you get your tasks done. And those systems don’t boil down to anything other than starting your own business.
Of course, here a lot also depends on the field you choose and the market. Make sure there is demand for the problems you want to solve. Make sure you can meet the demand and that it is a continuous long-term one. Make sure you have a competitive edge to be able to stand in the market and make sure you solve those problems by providing satisfaction and pleasing your customers, partners, and managers.
3. Discipline
To be successful you have to make compromises. You have to reshape yourself and rebuild your lifestyle. You need discipline, and discipline is nothing but a combination of self-control, perseverance, and determination.
That is, you have to do what you know needs to be done no matter how you feel, no matter if you don’t feel like it or if you feel tired. You have to be there, present, day in and day out, doing those things that inevitably become monotonous. Although monotony and boredom are part of the game of success, people are used to seeing only the end results: moments of appreciation, ecstasy, joy… vacations, etc.
Unfortunately, those are mostly brief and fleeting moments obtained after a long process requiring sweat, effort, action, energy consumed, etc.
To learn to be disciplined, the easiest possible way I recommend is this: learn to control your hunger and gradually get used to doing hard things.
Example:
- 1 day of the week do not eat anything; all you can consume is plain water (let 24 hours pass since the last meal; including sleep during the night)
- refrain from feeding your mind and feed your body: when we feed the mind, we eat things we crave; when we nourish the body, we eat things we need (vegetables, fruits, organic and unprocessed food)
There would be other examples to improve your discipline through different routine activities: going to the gym 3-5 times a week, without exception; making your bed in the morning right after you wake up; waking up at the same time in the morning and going to bed at the same time;
4. Communication skills
Effective communication involves active listening (i.e. being silent and actually listening to what the other person has to say before you respond), understanding and openness (i.e. being understanding and seeing things from the other person’s point of view, not just from your own perspective), conveying ideas clearly (ie speaking in the language of your interlocutor so that he/she understands what you have to say and be very clear, leave no room for interpretation and understand that it is possible that he/she does not know what you know, so be explicit).
Communication plays a very important role in our daily lives. Although we have been communicating since we were little, there are still people of different ages who are not able to communicate properly.
